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Here is a the link to my most up to date rough draft.
Feel free to comment on this. I am open to any suggestions.
I gave what I hope to be helpful criticism to Dee Schwartz's rough draft and Lekha Chesnick's rough draft.
Feedback Experience
I have tried to obtain feedback from several sources. This Tuesday, I tried the Think Tank's online writing tutoring. That was alright, but not as helpful since I prefer to discuss questions in person, but they are certainly good for those who prefer to work on papers from the comfort of his/her dorm, house, etc. Through the online sessions I was able to revise my introduction and thesis statement.
Today, I went to a walk-in session at the writing center. In those 15 minutes, I was able to accomplish much more than the online session. The tutor said that my topic sentences connected to the thesis which was good and that my paper flowed nicely. She suggested that for the part of the paper where I mention the tone shift, I should include a topic sentence that discusses how and why Always uses tone shifts to establish a stronger connection to the thesis. She also said that my conclusion can be adjusted so that the reader is left with something to contemplate and so that it is not too wordy. I plan to follow her advice and revise my conclusion also checking for other other mistakes that we did not catch.
All in all, this was a new experience for me. By reviewing my paper with others, I sometimes feel reassured and often catch mistakes that I would not necessarily be able to catch if I read the paper myself. Despite this, there is still some doubt as to whether my paper is good enough.
I gave what I hope to be helpful criticism to Dee Schwartz's rough draft and Lekha Chesnick's rough draft.
Feedback Experience
I have tried to obtain feedback from several sources. This Tuesday, I tried the Think Tank's online writing tutoring. That was alright, but not as helpful since I prefer to discuss questions in person, but they are certainly good for those who prefer to work on papers from the comfort of his/her dorm, house, etc. Through the online sessions I was able to revise my introduction and thesis statement.
Today, I went to a walk-in session at the writing center. In those 15 minutes, I was able to accomplish much more than the online session. The tutor said that my topic sentences connected to the thesis which was good and that my paper flowed nicely. She suggested that for the part of the paper where I mention the tone shift, I should include a topic sentence that discusses how and why Always uses tone shifts to establish a stronger connection to the thesis. She also said that my conclusion can be adjusted so that the reader is left with something to contemplate and so that it is not too wordy. I plan to follow her advice and revise my conclusion also checking for other other mistakes that we did not catch.
All in all, this was a new experience for me. By reviewing my paper with others, I sometimes feel reassured and often catch mistakes that I would not necessarily be able to catch if I read the paper myself. Despite this, there is still some doubt as to whether my paper is good enough.
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| Proof that I actually attended the Think Tank session. I asked the tutor for permission to post this and she gave her approval. |
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